Marriage & Public Funds

Bill Turley (Moderator) (Trustee board) (☼Travelguide writer) says on Sep 27, 2009, 15:13:

Miguel_Clavo says on Sep 27, 2009, 15:25:

Everchanging medications? Public Funds? Care to elaborate?

RVW orderded me to remove my tagline congratulating the PBH Mods New Golden Boys. Lame.

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tabla says on Sep 27, 2009, 15:37:

Dear Eyezz

I am trying to understand the question.

Do I take it that you have been out of work for some time due to health problems and that your only source of income is UK social security benefits? You have made friends with a Colombian lady, possibly over the internet? You are wondering how to pay for travel costs, etc, to get married and bring her to UK (presumably not having met her?)? And how to persuade the UK immigration that you have a genuine relationship and have sufficient funds to sponsor the lady to come and live with you in the UK? You have not found anything relevant in the pbh archive? And you only want constructive advice?

Is this a fair summary of your question? If not, please clarify.

I also write for the archive.

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dwmte7 says on Sep 27, 2009, 15:50:

so far, eyezz.....you're in good hands here. if you clear up the issue as tabla has suggested, maybe the higher minds of some of the members here can help out.
d

patriarch

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Eyezz says on Sep 27, 2009, 16:11:

Bill . no i don't play WoW .. Everquest2, Eve Online, Starwars Galaxies, Anarchy Online .. and no, not all a once, lol

Miguel .. I didn't think you'd actually be that interested in my medical condition to be honest.

tabla .. correct

Ok,

i'll update it some ..

I have epilepsy which they can't control on medications properly .. that's the everchanging medications part

Due to that I am off of work and have Incapacity Benefit which I live on helped by my Disability Living Allowance. Yes, I met gf (who is colombian) over the internet and we are getting along great. No, I haven't met her in person yet which is what I am currently saving up to do, go and get boiled to death in Barranquilla ... lol

Yes, i'm wondering how to bring her to the UK as there is the major problem of the 'No Public Funds' which I can't really do much about.

I've done various searches and not found what I'd need, I've gone through the PBH forum for quite awhile before even registering and gone through over 60 pages on the main forum and all 6 of the Visa one. That's also why I mentioned 'constructive' as sometimes people seem to be more than just a little sarcastic. or take things way off topic, etc

From memory (which by now really isn't that great) I think people have put best place to get married is colombia, which is where she'd prefer anyway. For getting her back here, well, that's things get awkward .. though there was mention of a CR1 which I have no clue of (sorry, very little sleep, insomnia as well) really.

I know it all takes time and I expect that which is I thought i'd start finding out now rather than later and then have things drag through then due to not having facts etc to hand.

If there is there is any other info needed please let me know, sorry it wasn't all in the first post but I didn't want it going on forever. Anyway, thanks for the replies guys :-)

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Miguel_Clavo says on Sep 27, 2009, 17:13:

The point i was making was explain your situation in detail so we dont have to guess what you are trying to ask.

CR1 is a US Visa, not UK, btw.

RVW orderded me to remove my tagline congratulating the PBH Mods New Golden Boys. Lame.

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robbie1 says on Sep 27, 2009, 17:28:

Appreciate your honesty OP. No advice (because I'm not British - don't know your laws); but if you were in the States, your chances would be slim and none, and slim just left town. I feel for you, good luck. No sarcasm intended.

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Gator says on Sep 27, 2009, 17:54:

Since you live in the UK you question should be asked of UK Border Agency; Try this link: http://www.ukvisas.gov.uk/en/

"Bene, cum Latine nescias, nolo manus meas in te maculare" .

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dwmte7 says on Sep 27, 2009, 18:42:

good luck with it all, brother. all the best to you and your lady friend.
d

patriarch

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tabla says on Sep 27, 2009, 20:20:

Seems to me your problem breaks down into:

1) how to get the money to cover all these considerable expenses
2) legal and practical questions about a marriage and visa for your bride to live in UK
3) health aspects

We can help you with no. 2 but I don't think we are going to spend time on that unless and until you have come up with a solution to no. 1.

Not sure what you are expecting us to do in the absence of funds to cover your plans. If I am missing something, please let me know.

Not wishing to pry, but I also think we would need to have some idea of your respective ages before taking this further.

Also, to make sure you are being realistic, please confirm that your lady-love is fully aware of all aspects of your situation.

Over to you, and let us know what help we can realistically give you at this stage.

P.S. I personally believe that amazing things are sometimes possible, and that you are possibly on the right track by asking for help. Not sure where else you should be doing that. Maybe someone here can suggest.

I also write for the archive.

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Eyezz says on Sep 27, 2009, 22:13:

Thanks all for your replies.

Miguel, thanks for the info on the CR1. robbie1, your right about the chances, from what I can find out they are slim to none, however that was a family member asking an immegration officer at work using just what she knew. Plus i'd say she's not the greatest fan of the relationship.

Gator, thanks .. i'll give them a try, i had looked their site up, however i wanted to exhaust outside means before going through official channels and getting noted. If you can understand that. Or i may just be paranoid .. lol

dwnte7 .. thanks :-)

tabla

1) I know the expenses are considerable as you say. Another reason for asking now so i can start planning on how to cover them.
2) i'll cover that last ..
3) health aspects .. she knows about my epilepsy and wishes to take over the roll of my carer which she thinks should be the place of the partner anyway. As she asked for more info on it I gave her a short breakdown of mine and a link to the NSE site (National Society for Epilepsy) so if she wanted she could browse the forum or register and ask all she wanted to.

My bathroom is adapted to a level access shower which I have explained to her but that is apparently like they have there. I told her I have no cooker which went down well and she wants one of those though but she'll use it not me, so thats not a health issue for me.

My cooking for her will stick to my current nuke it or fry it (electric frying pan).

She knows I live in a bedit, she has seen it by cam and she was going to come her first but that was more awkward. o i'm going to 'try' and get there to stay over her b'day.

You wanted to know age difference which is fine by me, i'm 37 as you can see on my profile and soon she'll be 26. I have asked her many times if she is ok with the gap and she's fine with it. Her family that I have met on cam all seem very friendly, same for her friends to so no-one seems to have an issue with it.

back to number 2
2) well i explained how i was going to save first, also luckily not smoking, being able to drive and not drinking much helps cut costs down too.

Now due to father in-laws long term service at BA he can add me to getting travel by standy-by on BA which for colombia to london heathrow is from miami onwards but a slight cost saver. If married already then that also covers Johanna.

Just a little add-in there

I've explained the problem to her and she doesn't mind waiting, just say's she want's to be with me, now I have insomnia but when i am tired enough I then can't sleep for thinking of her .. as long as she is ok with the idea, i'm fine with marrying her whilst we are both apart and just flying out to see her when i could or her coming here.

So a far as I can see the marriage is fine as she wants that in colombia .. she'd need to do some legwork to get best option for us. As i've never been married and have no kids i'd need to make sure I have all the relevant documents mentioned in posts on PBH.

The problem after that is the visa .. Now the problem ofcourse is me being on public funds there but there's not alot I can do about that. I'm not a candidate for surgery and in 32 years it's only got worse and i've been through every medication so far. Their current treatment is 'this is a new tablet, try it' .. which currently results in reappearing side effects, a new one and some better days some worse. Which leaves me in the same spot until i get used to these ones too. Then worse.

So i'm penalized this way for it as well now due to the public funds ruling.

And no problem about prying .. lol, your just trying to get info needed which may help so ask away if you need more.

Thanks again

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Woodde says on Sep 27, 2009, 23:48:

Eyezz,
I feel for you man. That is a really crappy situation you are in. The fact of the matter is(I'm an American, so take what I'm about to say with a kilo of salt) that while you are on benefits, you will probably never be afforded the opportunity to have her immigration status approved. It sounds as though, as unlikely as the chances seem, you MAY have found your diamond in the rough. Only to have her stripped away by reasons beyond your control.

Here is what I would do: Figure out what profession you could enter that would allow you to work, even with your epilepsy.

4/9/09

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CelticAce88 says on Sep 28, 2009, 02:10:

Eyezz,

You are in a very difficult postiiton and it will be hard for you. It will be extremely difficult for you to get any kind of visa for your gf as, eiher as your friend (no chance), as your fiancee ( a small chance) and as your wife (a little better than small but still not good). The best advice I can give you is to try to find even part time employment that will allow you to show the authorities that you can afford to cover her costs without relience on public funds. You need to research if your medicine ids available in Colombia. If not then you have a chance on the grounds that you need to stay here to continue taking your medication and it's not available in your wife's country. They will check though so don't lie! If it is availablein Colombia then all I can say is, Good luck.

Hope this helps and, as Gator says, visit the UKBA website, lots of info there.

Martin

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dwmte7 says on Sep 28, 2009, 05:30:

kudos, pbh'ers.................for a sane and helpful thread.

our new member is about as frank as one can be en re his issues and you've all shown sincere thought and compassion in your remarks. you're all great.
d

patriarch

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Gator says on Sep 28, 2009, 08:17:

See, Mods, some of us DO try.

"Bene, cum Latine nescias, nolo manus meas in te maculare" .

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dwmte7 says on Sep 28, 2009, 15:50:

you in particular, gator,deserve kudos............you're always sane, helpful, practical and in the know of what you speak.
d

patriarch

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dwmte7 says on Sep 28, 2009, 18:15:

kudos to you, young lady. you can change mood like a camelion. and i know brother gator loves basking in the sun of his own good deeds. on that note--his good deeds--i think everyone agrees. (he's shy and getting red faced) sorry, bro.

patriarch

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Gator says on Sep 28, 2009, 18:32:

Ah, shucks!!! Pero mil gracias amigos y amigas

"Bene, cum Latine nescias, nolo manus meas in te maculare" .

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excavator59 says on Sep 28, 2009, 19:09:

When my wife came to the UK back in 1991 they rule was that you could not live off public funds you had to support them yourself plus she could not work I think for the first 6 months then after that she could possibly all different now.

Life is like a Pubic Hair on a Toilet Seat (Sooner or Later you get Pissed Off)

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excavator59 says on Sep 28, 2009, 19:14:

You have told her you have no Cooker (be careful how you say that Cuca in Colombia is a dirty word for the female naughty bits .PS good luck

Life is like a Pubic Hair on a Toilet Seat (Sooner or Later you get Pissed Off)

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Paisa/Calena/Luver says on Sep 28, 2009, 19:16:

Be very careful with those online romances and especially not meeting her in person? You never know what you're going to get. Sometimes meeting in person changes all the rules as well. Be cautiously optimistic. You will read pages and pages of horror stories here.

"PAY ATTENTION! I wonder if that person knows that when we push the FUNNY button, its because we are reading something outrageous, trying to be cynical, derogatory, sarcastic and/or obnoxious!"

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Eyezz says on Sep 28, 2009, 19:34:

P/C/L

Yes, i've read the horror stories and I understand that meeting in person may change everything, just wanted to find out first .. but it's a case of 'you feel how you feel' and not alot can be done about that.

We have both agreed i'll meet her first (and family seeing as i've apparently been talked about to them quite abit, nothing to live upto then .. lol) and then she'll come over and meet my lot. Though i have dad & 2 sisters in oz so that'll be 2 trips for that. I'm sure she'd love a trip to the house there tho .. lol.

The family I have met on cam all seem nice, some a little wacky ;-) and her friends are ok too

So as long as we are still ok in person :-)

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Paisa/Calena/Luver says on Sep 28, 2009, 19:41:

Damn you are a night owl, if you are in the UK its like 4am.

"PAY ATTENTION! I wonder if that person knows that when we push the FUNNY button, its because we are reading something outrageous, trying to be cynical, derogatory, sarcastic and/or obnoxious!"

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Eyezz says on Sep 28, 2009, 20:09:

yep,

Did i mention a slight touch of insomnia .. lol, in one way handy as when she phone i'm up to answer it in a shot (i'm sure neighbours do not appreciate 3am calls heheh) and can be online to msn with her for hours and hours and hours .. and she'll get tired first.

If I do get tired, as soon as i get near that pillow, i wake up .. lol, so mostly it's stay awake til system just can't take it anymore. Then it has to sleep. I know that will always be 3 days max, then you just fall off the chair and start headbutting the keyboard.

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dwmte7 says on Sep 29, 2009, 03:56:

escavator........"naughty bits"?

patriarch

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Eyezz says on Sep 29, 2009, 04:46:

ah no .. she understood the bit about cooker straight away as she had mentioned how do i prepare my meals .. lol

She was pretty devastated to hear i had no cooker she could use and no washing machine, when given a choice of 1 due to limited space she immediately went for a cooker.

Suits me as I shouldn't use it anyway ;-)

Last night however I did say to her if I can't get her here, if I can get what I need there (meds/some sort of job) then i'll uproot and go join her. She was somehow surprised i'd give everything up so easilt but there's not much to keep me here, family doesn't get together much, I have seen them only at family bdays etc mostly.

She was pretty pleased at that :-)

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erin5000 says on Sep 29, 2009, 17:01:

My husband and I are both US citizens his family is in Colombia Cali to be exact we are traveling in 2 weeks and are looking to get married (not legally more for ceremonial purposes for the family) However, anytime I search for anything related to weddings in Cali all I get is crap for mail order brides. Can anyone point me in the right direction I'd greatly appreciate it!!!

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excavator59 says on Sep 29, 2009, 20:54:

Dwmte 7 Naughty bits yes used quite a bit on Monty Python in the 70's don't you remember?.
It's better than writing c*** or f***y etc know what I mean eh?.

Life is like a Pubic Hair on a Toilet Seat (Sooner or Later you get Pissed Off)

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erin5000 says on Sep 29, 2009, 22:47:

thank you so much Justo

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SlyFrancis says on Sep 30, 2009, 08:25:

Justo, you seem to have a personal problem with me and calling me a sex tourist. You need to get your facts straight. Welcome to the board but you have formed a very negative opinion of me. My comment was based on experiences that I have seen personally with gringos and latinas not necessarily colombianas. Sorry if you thought I lumped you in that category but I see that you live in my country why tell me to get the fuck out of yours. You need to tone it down a bit. If your beef is that personal, I don't live that far from you we can chat about it.,

"If you won't stand for something, you will fall for anything"

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SlyFrancis says on Sep 30, 2009, 09:06:

Eyezz,
I am guessing that the support you receive is equal to social security disability payments that individuals receive in the US. An option for you may be to consider living in a country where you can support and bring her with little or no problem. That country would be Panama. Panamanian laws only requires that you are able to show $500.00 US per month in support and you can live there. Colombians are able to travel there easily. You might want to research this option. You can obtain the medication you need in Panama with no problem. She will be able to be with you there. I am wishing you the best and hoping that this relationship can work out.

"If you won't stand for something, you will fall for anything"

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SlyFrancis says on Sep 30, 2009, 20:43:

Your post just shows that you like to call people names with nothing to back it up but enough with you. I guess I could be immature and call you names but that is not my style. You speak volumes for yourself. End of story.

"If you won't stand for something, you will fall for anything"

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